Friday, July 31, 2015


*Milky Way image via

I wish we would have had more deep conversations...conversations that took us to the heart and soul of who we are

I wish we would have shared more...shared what lights us up, what makes us laugh, and what makes us cry

And I wish we would have lived more of these moments together...

I wish we would have exchanged more stories...the real ones and the fantasies. And I wish we would have written more of our own, coauthored a book of dreams

I wish we would have loved more...ourselves and each other

I wish we would have owned our fears out loud...and together beat them down

And most of all, I wish we would have felt safe and secure enough with ourselves and each other, to have allowed these wishes to come true...

And finally, I wish that each of us learn the lesson of our story, and have all of these wishes come true...with the one star that shines brightly, just for us

Sunday, July 26, 2015

A Post Script to Yesterday

One more thought to add to yesterday's post regarding our "soul moments"...I started reading a book while I was in Mexico about our spirit guides.  Early in the book the author talked about "starvation of spirit". She talked about the symptoms that she had noted in a client and I was blown away as I recognized them in myself. I had lived with them for years. 

Over the last few years I have come to realize that I've lived with depression for most of my adult life. I understand that it can be genetic and I was aware there were others in my family tree that have lived with it and so I've accepted it and know that it is there to be dealt with. But when I read this passage about starvation of spirit, it all clicked for me. It's kind of like which came first, the depression or the starvation. I absolutely believe that, at least in my case, they go hand in hand. For so long I lived without the "breathless moments", I didn't know what they were, I didn't know they existed. I just knew that my life was lacking something. I craved beauty and deep feelings. I was always tired and so lethargic, very little interested me or made me feel alive. At times, it was an effort to get through the day. Thank god I had my girls, they were my bright spots, my reasons to push through.

Now I understand the "breathless moments" and how vital they are to my health and well being. And I know that when the dark moments start appearing, the best thing I can do for myself is to focus on my breathless moments. No, I cannot always take off on an impromptu getaway but I can look at my travel photos, I can search out the other moments that resonate so deeply with my soul. I can take a few minutes to sit quietly and remember how I felt walking out onto that wild empty beach...and my heart sings again and the world brightens once more.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Deep thoughts on a beautiful day....The homesick quote below has had me thinking this morning. Many, many times over the years, especially when I have been traveling, I've had those moments...of homesickness, loneliness, I'm not sure what. They almost always brought me to tears. More often than not I chalked it up to not having someone to share the moment with. And perhaps that was part of it. It had happened twice while I was in Baja this past February.

My first morning there I got up early as the sun was just beginning to rise and I went for a run. I had no idea where I was going, I just picked a direction and headed off. I ended up in the old part of town,in the old city square anchored by the beautiful mission. The light was just right, the air was still cool, and the square was empty except for the pigeons and a few merchants getting their shops ready for the day. It was colorful and charming and reeked of history. That was it, but it was enough to move me to tears. It was like I had come home finally. It happened again the next week when I moved up the coast to stay at the beach. I walked out onto that beautiful, wild, empty beach with the waves crashing onto the shore and I felt small and insignificant and powerful all at the same time. Once again I felt like I had come home. And the tears flowed.

Not only do far off places have this effect but also people, photography, art, nature, laughter, babies.....I've come to realize that these are my moments...the moments, the people, the places, the words, the things that make my heart sing. That resonate so deeply with my soul that it feels like a homecoming. These are the moments I choose to focus on, the ones that make me feel alive, passionate, endless. I hope that you have found your moments...

I have an online home for my Breathless Moments, feel free to check it out...