A Post Script to Yesterday

One more thought to add to yesterday's post regarding our "soul moments"...I started reading a book while I was in Mexico about our spirit guides.  Early in the book the author talked about "starvation of spirit". She talked about the symptoms that she had noted in a client and I was blown away as I recognized them in myself. I had lived with them for years. 

Over the last few years I have come to realize that I've lived with depression for most of my adult life. I understand that it can be genetic and I was aware there were others in my family tree that have lived with it and so I've accepted it and know that it is there to be dealt with. But when I read this passage about starvation of spirit, it all clicked for me. It's kind of like which came first, the depression or the starvation. I absolutely believe that, at least in my case, they go hand in hand. For so long I lived without the "breathless moments", I didn't know what they were, I didn't know they existed. I just knew that my life was lacking something. I craved beauty and deep feelings. I was always tired and so lethargic, very little interested me or made me feel alive. At times, it was an effort to get through the day. Thank god I had my girls, they were my bright spots, my reasons to push through.

Now I understand the "breathless moments" and how vital they are to my health and well being. And I know that when the dark moments start appearing, the best thing I can do for myself is to focus on my breathless moments. No, I cannot always take off on an impromptu getaway but I can look at my travel photos, I can search out the other moments that resonate so deeply with my soul. I can take a few minutes to sit quietly and remember how I felt walking out onto that wild empty beach...and my heart sings again and the world brightens once more.