Friday, September 25, 2015

Intimacy



To be truly intimate with another, don't you have to be willing to be truly intimate with yourself first?  Willing to explore all of your corners including the dark cobwebby ones. And to lovingly accept all that you find-forgiving, honoring, celebrating-every  thought, feeling, secret, fear,story that you uncover...Because isn't this what intimacy between two people is all about-sharing every deep, dark secret, every joy and every sorrow, every truth and every fear..and accepting without judgement all that is offered?  Isn't this how a truly deep connection with another is possible, by connecting with self first of all? Intimacy, like love, starts within...

Love Starts Within

I have loved too deeply,
To fill an emptiness within.
An emptiness I now know
was caused by not loving
myself deeply enough.
And because we attract who we are,
I ended up loving too deeply
someone that could not love me
Deeply enough...
Love starts within

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Sharing Our Truth...


Should we?
Should we show the world all of our messiness?
Along with all of our beauty
Is that part of living authentically?
And how much of our truth is ok to share?
Showing the world our demons, our weaknesses, our fears
Or do we just allude to them,
Saying "yes, I am not perfect, I am just trying to do the best I can"
And call it a day?

And by sharing it all,
All of our rainbows
And all of the monsters that chase us,
Are we setting an example,
Showing the world that we are one and the same and it's ok
You're ok because you're just like me
Or are we looking for attention?
Creating a little drama to feed ourselves
I don't know...

I am so NOT perfect, not always together
Sometimes I get tired of my struggles, my "messiness"
I still walk to close to the edge at times
But I also have fabulous times that are right on
Days where everything in my world is in the flow
Sunny, rainbow filled days
This is who I am
And I carry on, working towards being the best me I can be

I guess I will take it day by day
Sharing as my heart and soul feel the desire to do so
I will filter as I see fit
But I think I am pretty open
And if my story, my experience helps you
Then I believe I have done my part
And this is my truth......


Friday, July 31, 2015

Wishes...

*Milky Way image via liftupideas.com

I wish we would have had more deep conversations...conversations that took us to the heart and soul of who we are

I wish we would have shared more...shared what lights us up, what makes us laugh, and what makes us cry

And I wish we would have lived more of these moments together...

I wish we would have exchanged more stories...the real ones and the fantasies. And I wish we would have written more of our own, coauthored a book of dreams

I wish we would have loved more...ourselves and each other

I wish we would have owned our fears out loud...and together beat them down

And most of all, I wish we would have felt safe and secure enough with ourselves and each other, to have allowed these wishes to come true...

And finally, I wish that each of us learn the lesson of our story, and have all of these wishes come true...with the one star that shines brightly, just for us

Sunday, July 26, 2015

A Post Script to Yesterday



One more thought to add to yesterday's post regarding our "soul moments"...I started reading a book while I was in Mexico about our spirit guides.  Early in the book the author talked about "starvation of spirit". She talked about the symptoms that she had noted in a client and I was blown away as I recognized them in myself. I had lived with them for years. 

Over the last few years I have come to realize that I've lived with depression for most of my adult life. I understand that it can be genetic and I was aware there were others in my family tree that have lived with it and so I've accepted it and know that it is there to be dealt with. But when I read this passage about starvation of spirit, it all clicked for me. It's kind of like which came first, the depression or the starvation. I absolutely believe that, at least in my case, they go hand in hand. For so long I lived without the "breathless moments", I didn't know what they were, I didn't know they existed. I just knew that my life was lacking something. I craved beauty and deep feelings. I was always tired and so lethargic, very little interested me or made me feel alive. At times, it was an effort to get through the day. Thank god I had my girls, they were my bright spots, my reasons to push through.

Now I understand the "breathless moments" and how vital they are to my health and well being. And I know that when the dark moments start appearing, the best thing I can do for myself is to focus on my breathless moments. No, I cannot always take off on an impromptu getaway but I can look at my travel photos, I can search out the other moments that resonate so deeply with my soul. I can take a few minutes to sit quietly and remember how I felt walking out onto that wild empty beach...and my heart sings again and the world brightens once more.


Saturday, July 25, 2015


Deep thoughts on a beautiful day....The homesick quote below has had me thinking this morning. Many, many times over the years, especially when I have been traveling, I've had those moments...of homesickness, loneliness, I'm not sure what. They almost always brought me to tears. More often than not I chalked it up to not having someone to share the moment with. And perhaps that was part of it. It had happened twice while I was in Baja this past February.

My first morning there I got up early as the sun was just beginning to rise and I went for a run. I had no idea where I was going, I just picked a direction and headed off. I ended up in the old part of town,in the old city square anchored by the beautiful mission. The light was just right, the air was still cool, and the square was empty except for the pigeons and a few merchants getting their shops ready for the day. It was colorful and charming and reeked of history. That was it, but it was enough to move me to tears. It was like I had come home finally. It happened again the next week when I moved up the coast to stay at the beach. I walked out onto that beautiful, wild, empty beach with the waves crashing onto the shore and I felt small and insignificant and powerful all at the same time. Once again I felt like I had come home. And the tears flowed.

Not only do far off places have this effect but also people, photography, art, nature, laughter, babies.....I've come to realize that these are my moments...the moments, the people, the places, the words, the things that make my heart sing. That resonate so deeply with my soul that it feels like a homecoming. These are the moments I choose to focus on, the ones that make me feel alive, passionate, endless. I hope that you have found your moments...

I have an online home for my Breathless Moments, feel free to check it out...
http://sacredgypsy.tumblr.com/

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

My Path

I am exactly where I am meant to be.
I was given this beautiful path to walk.
One full of twists and turns
Endings that forced me to slow down
Back track, start again.
I have cried over this path.
And raged at it-
"Why me?! Why can't my life be easy
Like everyone else's"
(And who says theirs is?)-
But it's my path
And I am learning to love it.
It is beautiful
And trekking this path is exactly
What is making me
Beautiful and unique...